The Practice of Everyday Life

I moved.

I moved the blog to practiceofeverydaylife.com See you there.

dealing, Love, Rape, rape survivor, Recovery, self, silences, with

This is the facebook status I posted last night after quitting my graduate program and realizing that I really had made it to survivor status something I had been very reluctant to believe for fear of disappointment,

"This past year has been the hardest of my entire life but today I say that I let go of a masters program and can declare myself a rape survivor which means that I am worthy of respect because I faced it head on. It was very ugly but thank you to the few and proud that did not treat me like I was diseased and goodbye to those that did."

Why put myself on display yet again know how hard it was before? I read the blog http://www.dealingwithrape.com/?p=11 which is one of the many that I constantly went back to and this tip really struck me:

#3) The one thing I learned the hard way was that none of my loved ones reacted they way I thought they would, so I immediately was more concerned with their thoughts and actions than my own healing process. I see this almost every time when counseling a survivor. The first thing I hear is, “What is my family (often spouse/partner) going to think?” or “how are they going to react?” My typical response is, “I know you are worried about their reactions BUT aren’t you more worried about your well being for you and your family?” Before you expend your energy on controlling someone else’s feelings (when ultimately you can’t) you should take that energy to heal yourself. Because you truly need to believe that you did nothing to lead up to the rape and know in your heart it wasn’t your fault. When YOU realize it doesn’t matter what you were wearing, where you were at or what you were doing, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks! The bottom line is you have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else!

#4) Surround yourself with the people who support you and distance yourself (at least temporarily) from those who don’t.

This is so true and so unnecessary. This was what held me back.

Of all that I had to be proud of last night what I want to share with you, the girl that came to this site searching for something to help is this: Last night I held my own hand and thought about every night i slept in a pool of tears on the kitchen floor and every time my emotions left me calling out for support frantic and alone. I thought about all the night I sent painting dressers, canvas, walls, nails, desks, anything. The mornings I took a shower and left the house and the weeks I didn't. I thought of this entire long process and held my own hand through it all and thanked God for every inch of growth that came of it.

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African Fashion Week, Nature Hair, NYC

Sweet and Simple in the City

Just got back from NYC for Africa Fashion Week. Here are some images of the trip.

The View of Times Square from the Studio we stayed in.

Destroying my favorite shoes walking around the city.

Sweet and Simple in Harlem.

Stuffin my face at Native.

On me: Jeans, Levi's; Shirt, Handmade; Watch, Marc Jacobs; Shoes, Ivanka Trump (similar here); Purse, Dooney&Bourke

Two of the looks I liked from day two.

For more images and information about the Trip visit weartheworldblog.

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Adama Paris, African Fashion Week, BebeGrafiti, Funlayo Deri, Kachi Designs, Madam Wokie's Couture, New York, Suakoko Betty, Toriola Custom Design, Washington Roberts, Yashika

AFWNY Pre-Show

Doing my homework for the shows thought I would share my favorites for the Gallery on the website for the show. Enjoy.

Washington Roberts

BebeGrafiti

Suakoko Betty Kachi Designs

Blackbird Design Jo Black Craze

Toriola Custom Designs Suakoko Betty

Funlayo Deri Yashika

Madam Wokie's Couture --------------------- >

Adama Paris ----------------------------------- >

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Recovery Process

Trigger

They call it a trigger because thats what it is a violent emotional reaction. Panic attacks the organs in my body caused unexplained physical reactions. You are not really having a heart attack. Take a deep breath. How many days have you been in this bed. Don't count because you do not really want to know. Get up. Working from bed is not work.

How many times did you call wanting to not be alone and feel protected. Over and Over. Please leave a message for. This process is ugly no doubt. If you ignore it it will not go away, it will only grow while your back is turned then knock you to the ground. Two hands around my neck so i fight of life

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African Fashion Week, Graphic Design

What to Wear.

Very Excited to be going to NYC for African Fashion Week in a few days. Up working late thought I would post a picture of the business cards I just made for my friend and I. The blog is not up and running yet. The post to NY will be our debut (start with a bang right). Either way I am up and feeling very productive.

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Asos, Fashion, Love, Parenting

A son's first love.

Just got back from lunch with one of my favorite people, Siobhan. We were talking about our sons and how much we love them but more so about how much they LOVE us. It is interesting watching the way my son looks and me and treats me. I often feel very loved and protected and hes only four. I suppose it really is in a boys nature to love his mother. The feeling is mutual.

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Asos, Blueline Studio, Fashion, Louis Vuitton, natural hair

Little Louis

I am currently packing for a visit to chicago to see my best friend then we are off to NYC for African Fashion Week. Before that I'm very excited for Blueline's Fourth of July Party. I feel like there is so much to do: clean, clean, pack, school. and work. Wish me Luck. Happy Monday.

Dress: Asos. Purse: Louis Vuitton

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Bible Bowl: Fashion for Jesus

My first bible bowl. I came ready for battle. Team Bethel did great, but you never loose when you are learning the word of God. Love my church. These are the best kids you will ever meet. Being a parent I love that my son has young people he can look up to and the other parents are fantastic.

Fashion for Jesus.

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Coach., Fashion, Parenting

Purple Passion

Its been a while. I have been really busy, school, business, work, parenting, and taking time for myself. Here are some picture we took last week at the Farmers Market with my son.
There are a bunch. I am happy to announce that I am now on the board of the Bloomington Winter Farmers Market. Great things are happening. Sorry for the break. I hope you have been well, loving what you do and doing it well.